As it’s the season of giving I wanted to share a quick thought on the greatest gift that we can give to our youth athletes – the gift of helping to build the mindset within them to compete and play for the simple focus and goal of…the love of playing. If they can fall in love with that all other potential accomplishments become more likely.
As a sport psychologist and the parent of youth athletes I see all too often the ways that we’re (youth sports culture) creating unintended psychological stress for our youth athletes. Specifically, we’ve begun to have them focus almost entirely on the future outcome (a scholarship) instead of simply focusing on playing in the here and now for the sake of learning, growing, improving, competing, developing life-long relationships, facing the challenges of TODAY, and becoming good teammates. This creates useless (preventable) stress, and can take away some of the joy that should be the main goal of youth sports.
And this isn’t some “everyone gets a trophy” article. I’m privileged to work at the highest levels of sport – professionals, National Teams, Olympians, or even D1 athletes and teams – and I can tell you for a fact, that it is too hard to compete at these levels if the love is just not there.
Yes, the greatest gift we can give them is to teach them to focus on intrinsic motivation—training and competing for the love of the sport or the joy of improvement. This should be the main focus for all youth athletes, and if we start there and truly develop this than all other future possibilities are more likely to spring from this.
Love THIS season. Love THIS team. Love getting better THIS year. Love reaching THIS goal.
The present moment is the only place that true happiness can be reached. The moment we focus on doing whatever we’re doing now on the hope that we’ll get something in return in the future the participation turns to stress and anxiety. Why is this? Because the future is always unknown and uncertain, and this will trigger our fear reaction.
Teaching how to ONLY focus their attention to the present provides numerous psychological benefits for youth athletes, including:
1. Enhanced Mental Health and Well-being:
Reduced Stress and Anxiety: When athletes enjoy the process rather than feeling pressure to perform for external rewards like scholarships, they experience less performance anxiety. This fosters a healthier relationship with their sport.
Increased Happiness: Engaging in activities for pure enjoyment boosts dopamine and endorphin levels, promoting overall mood and mental health. Note: this increases motivation!
2. Development of a Growth Mindset:
Focusing on improvement and effort rather than outcomes helps athletes embrace challenges and learn from setbacks. This mindset builds resilience and encourages lifelong learning both on and off the field.
3. Sustainable Motivation
Intrinsic motivators, like the love of the game, lead to greater persistence and engagement over time compared to external motivators, which can wane if the reward isn’t immediate or guaranteed.
4. Strengthened Self-esteem
When youth athletes base their self-worth on personal growth and effort rather than external validation, they develop a stronger sense of self. This makes them less vulnerable to feelings of inadequacy if external rewards don’t materialize.
5. Fostering Team and Social Bonds
Playing for the enjoyment of the sport encourages camaraderie and connection. Athletes are more likely to value teamwork and build meaningful relationships, rather than focusing solely on individual achievement.
6. Lower Risk of Burnout
Burnout is more common when external pressures dominate. Athletes who find joy in training and competing are more likely to maintain a healthy relationship with their sport, reducing the risk of quitting prematurely.
7. Encourages Lifelong Physical Activity
Youth who learn to appreciate the intrinsic benefits of sports are more likely to stay active throughout their lives, viewing exercise as a source of joy rather than a task tied to external goals.
Practical Applications for Coaches and Parents:
Emphasize Effort and Progress: Celebrate milestones and improvements over wins or scholarships.
Model the Joy of Participation: Show enthusiasm and positivity about the sport.
Provide a Safe Environment for Failure: Normalize mistakes as part of learning and growth.
Encourage Multiple Sports: Allow athletes to explore various activities to avoid hyper-focusing on a single pathway. They’ll begin to figure out which they truly love.
Ultimately, teaching athletes to value intrinsic goals helps them develop skills and perspectives that benefit their psychological well-being both within and beyond sports.
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Stuart Singer, M.Ed., and PsyD is the Director of WellPerformance, a Mental Performance Coaching and Consulting practice, and the creator of the DoSo app https://t.co/R61vbpda4X . For more information regarding this topic, he can be contacted at ssinger@wellperformancecoach.com or follow him on X: @wellperformance, or Instagram: @wellperformance
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